But how?

There are so many great people out there, far greater than I am. They probably have pretty awesome ideas as well.

And here I am stuck with no topic in mind just yet.

I need inspiration. Serious dose of that magical pixie dust so my imaginations gets to run wild.

That's what I need.

To have my imagination run wild again!

Shit, I really am losing my mojo.

I have to squeeze my mind if I wanna make it legendary.

Because I WILL MAKE A GODDAMN LEGENDARY THESIS.

damn it.

I need to write.

Not just because I think I'm losing my touch by not writing as much as I used to before.

Not just because my thesis groupmates are unpredictable and fickle-minded and I might end up doing a solo thesis either on Journalism (that entails 7 journalistic articles) or a screenplay (under the impeccable scrutiny of Sir Doy Del Mundo).

Not just because I'm completely floating through my life right now and it's a bad thing.

Not just because I feel that if I don't vent now, I'd probably blow up one of these days.

I need to write because I need to find that thing I lost while trying to make my mark.

I need to write because I need to regroup myself. Find my mojo. Get back on my game.


I've been accustomed to pressure. I've been best friends with stress for about 1/2 of my entire existence. I've been bombarded with a truckload of work before. And I would complain. Endlessly on the amount of stuff I needed to accomplish. I would rant, I would vent. I would curse in my mind every single person who has thrown such workload on me.

But at the end of the day, I made sure that I was able to accomplish them. However long and tiring hearing my rants were, I was sure I was only trying to vocally express my feelings. I always, always showed up having my work done.

That's always how it used to be for me. That was my system. And it worked for me. Every single time.

But as that stupid anonymous (as far as my knowledge is concerned) who said, "change is inevitable", it also changed for me.

I'm not sure if I'm just tired or if I'm being restless. But what I do know is that right now, I'm looking for my Fire Exit. My own escape.

I just want to run. From everything. All the work, responsibilities, hang-ups, everything. I feel like I'm being held down by doing all the things that I need to do from living my life.

I used to be spontaneous but now, every minute and every second of my life is planned out. I miss one and everything becomes completely messed up.

I used to act on impulse, and while it didn't always end up as the best decision I've made, it made me feel alive.

I used to love doing something because I always had the urge to try something new. Now, I just don't have enough time for it.

I can't blame anyone. I don't even expect anyone to understand. This is a phase only I can completely comprehend. It's something I need to figure out on my own.

For now, I just need to find my own great escape. And then, I'll be back with a vengeance.